The Girl with the Pearl Earrings?

I've had my ears pierced three times so far but I don't have three holes in each ear. I don't remember why my holes closed the first time but I do remember getting my ears pierced the second time by some lady in Taiwan who, while she was HAND PIERCING my ears, kept repeating that I shouldn't worry because she use to be a nurse. Because the piercing was by hand, the experience was horrifying to say the least because it took quite some time for the posts to pierce each of my ear lobes. So rather than a quick pinch from a piercing gun where the pain would subside quickly, the painful sensation lasted close to a few minutes (and honestly felt like hours) as the posts made its god awful way through my lobes. To make this episode even more ridiculous was the fact that I was sitting on a stool on the sidewalk in front of the ladie's store so a crowd had actually gathered to watch this feat. Don't ask me why I did it. I think it was a command handed down by my father and every one who knows my father knows that we do not question his commands. What makes this experience actually quite sad for me was the fact that I lost the freaking studs in the shower two days later thus making the entire drama quite pointless. I think it must have been because my lobes were too swollen from the ordeal to accomodate any normal earring posts. Hell-to-the-no I didn't go back to get it redone but surprisingly, I think one of the hand-pierced holes is still half pierced (though should I feel scarred by the lady in some way because of this?)

So we move forward 10 years to the present. I recently got married and had my ears pierced the third, and hopefully, last time for the wedding. It was a classic ear piercing experience at the mall and I was thankful I had a "professional," if you can call her that, rather than a gum-chewing-hair-flipping teenage girl doing the piercing. Luckily, I had two girl friends with me who was able to correct the placement of the studs on my ear lobes (they were initially too low). I have enjoyed my newly pierced ears but realize now that "enjoy" shouldn't be the word to describe how I feel about them. Words and phrases like "joyous," "estatic," "gold mine," and "buried treasure" come to mind and are quite more appropriate because I've now realized that I have hit another mother load of fashion accessory opportunities --- and I don't know why this didn't occur to me before!

Since the wedding, I've only worn earrings once (as opposed to my studs) and I truly believe it's because I don't have even an inkling of an earring collection yet and not because I'm too lazy to take the studs out, clean them, clean my earlobes, clean the earrings and put the earrings on and repeat the steps when I come home from the day. No, not at all.

And to start a collection is not as easy as just picking up any pair of earrings I fancy. In fact, I think buying earrings is tricky. Only certain types of earrings will become me as do certain types of hair cuts and or hats. I am neither sad or frustrated by this because this condition certainly adds to the fun of finding something that works if not also to add to the complexity of the search. However, every time I consider a pair of earrings, a picture of myself when I was 13 with braces and big Sally Jesse Rafael glasses (yes, they were also red) pops into my head. Why? Because along with the glasses and braces, I was wearing a pair of ridiculously large silver hoops. They weren't becoming, to say the least, but what makes the earrings so important in the picture was the fact that I was hiking in Yosemite with my family. I was standing on a small rock with a mountain in the backdrop wearing these huge earrings. And memory has a way of changing the details on you so in my head the hoops have gotten disproportionally large against my head that was then full of baby fine stick straight hair. Indeed, this picture has become a personal symbol of awkward fashion evolution.

So what am I considering as some of my first earring purchases basically as a grown ass woman? Trust me, I will be experimenting. Certainly not large silver hoops. Perhaps something small and tasteful but not too small that they will get lost in my now freakish combo of kinky, wavy, straight hair. And most certainly not diamonds or pearls because then what would my husband buy me for our seven and a half month or one year anniversaries?

Just kidding.