Heaven and Hell
Women in general like to shop and most women would say that they "LOVE" to shop ( and sufficed to say, I am one of the latter.) Men in general don't like to shop and most men would say that they "HATE" to shop. These statements, though quite general, are symbolic of the age old battle that is still being fought between the sexes everywhere. Just pause for a moment and consider that right now a man and a woman somewhere on this planet are cursing each other's names because of their incompatible shopping habits. I've heard of marriages falling apart because of this very reason and I believe that would have been avoidable had the man gone shopping with the woman before they got hitched -- no man can say that he knows his woman until he has gone shopping with her. People, take heed.
One theory about women and shopping points to the survival skills honed during neolithic times when women collected vegetation and wood while the men went to hunt for meat (Meat is good.) Therefore, this desire to collect has been passed down through the ages and is now being reflected through the shopping habits of women everywhere*. Yes, ladies, we're acting out of instinct. This can help explain the rabid look in women's eyes when they shop at a sale -- perhaps a Barney's Warehouse sale or the like? The limited or scarce quantities and high demand could be said to portray the situation faced by our neolithic mothers fending for their brood. Women are like sharks circling prey at sales and it goes without saying that it's every woman for herself. Yes, ladies, we're acting out of instinct.
Thus, it's not a matter of being right or wrong but allowing what comes naturally. To express your inner self. And to my health but supposedly to my husband's detriment, I hone my natural instincts almost daily. I personally like to take my time (if time is available), browse the full selection, and when the price point is high enough I like to stand in the middle of store and try to find as many self-justifying reasons to purchase the item(s). I also love a good bargain, and as many of my friends and family members know the word "sale" is probably one of my favorite words in the English language...well, actually in any language. This leads me to develop a natural affinity for outlet and discount shopping at retailers like Loehmann's or Century 21 in NYC (who does not love that store?!) and the insurgence of stores like Forever 21 and H&M is a sign that I'm not alone. But it is at these very stores that I have fought my biggest battles or have foreseen the potential of battles with my husband and seeing the couples shopping with us those unstable times only affirms my thoughts on the perpetual cycle of love and hate between the sexes as stated above.
A place like Loehmann's is fraught with land mines so to speak. Where at a regular retail store the clothes are organized in such a way that would allow anyone to know exactly what she's looking at, Loehmann's requires the woman to literally dig (or flip) through numerous racks of clothing. And it's not just the organization of the items but the amount of items offered at the store. You could spend a couple of hours shopping there and still not make it to the dressing rooms once. And I'm sure every single one of you have witnessed or were a part of this scene before where the women's changing room of a store is filled with light hearted banter as women try on clothes and gab about their finds while outside the room, in the one or two chairs provided by the store, are the men sitting dejectly waiting for them. If the men were lucky, the store would have a men's section to keep them busy for the 5 or 10 minutes they usually shop at a store. If they were lucky, they would have a chair to sit on. If they were lucky, they would have a cell phone with video games to play or to text messages with. If they were lucky, the women have some other place they need to go to so the wait is determined in absolute time. And if they were really lucky, the woman didn't ask him to hold her purse (and everyone knows that those who do hold the purse are the ones whose spirits have been truly broken.) Tempers are definitely at their worst here and I've heard men yelling into the women's dressing room in hopes of scaring the women out (and it never works and probably made her take longer.)
I'm sure the young and naive may now be asking why do men go with women to shop in the first place? Perhaps it's their way of spending quality time with each other (and where the men optimistically hope that THIS TIME will be different and that THIS TIME she will really only take the few minutes she said she required.) Or the woman insists that the man accompany her in case she needs his opinion- - after all, she's really buying these things to look good for him. And he'll go with her if only to try to control her spending and to avoid confrontation. But in the land of Loehmann's or Century 21, the unavoidable battle will be played out and truth be told most of the time the woman will win. On yes, she will instinctively fight to the death to be able to shop in this heaven of hers irregardless that the man who accompanies her will enter into his interminable hell.**
*I have no idea whether this is true or some cuck-a-mamy theory that was thought up during a drunken stupor. Either way, it works for this blog and that's all that really matters.
**This may be overly dramatic and in no way does it represent my shopping outings with hubby (ok, maybe once in a blue moon). But you get my point.
One theory about women and shopping points to the survival skills honed during neolithic times when women collected vegetation and wood while the men went to hunt for meat (Meat is good.) Therefore, this desire to collect has been passed down through the ages and is now being reflected through the shopping habits of women everywhere*. Yes, ladies, we're acting out of instinct. This can help explain the rabid look in women's eyes when they shop at a sale -- perhaps a Barney's Warehouse sale or the like? The limited or scarce quantities and high demand could be said to portray the situation faced by our neolithic mothers fending for their brood. Women are like sharks circling prey at sales and it goes without saying that it's every woman for herself. Yes, ladies, we're acting out of instinct.
Thus, it's not a matter of being right or wrong but allowing what comes naturally. To express your inner self. And to my health but supposedly to my husband's detriment, I hone my natural instincts almost daily. I personally like to take my time (if time is available), browse the full selection, and when the price point is high enough I like to stand in the middle of store and try to find as many self-justifying reasons to purchase the item(s). I also love a good bargain, and as many of my friends and family members know the word "sale" is probably one of my favorite words in the English language...well, actually in any language. This leads me to develop a natural affinity for outlet and discount shopping at retailers like Loehmann's or Century 21 in NYC (who does not love that store?!) and the insurgence of stores like Forever 21 and H&M is a sign that I'm not alone. But it is at these very stores that I have fought my biggest battles or have foreseen the potential of battles with my husband and seeing the couples shopping with us those unstable times only affirms my thoughts on the perpetual cycle of love and hate between the sexes as stated above.
A place like Loehmann's is fraught with land mines so to speak. Where at a regular retail store the clothes are organized in such a way that would allow anyone to know exactly what she's looking at, Loehmann's requires the woman to literally dig (or flip) through numerous racks of clothing. And it's not just the organization of the items but the amount of items offered at the store. You could spend a couple of hours shopping there and still not make it to the dressing rooms once. And I'm sure every single one of you have witnessed or were a part of this scene before where the women's changing room of a store is filled with light hearted banter as women try on clothes and gab about their finds while outside the room, in the one or two chairs provided by the store, are the men sitting dejectly waiting for them. If the men were lucky, the store would have a men's section to keep them busy for the 5 or 10 minutes they usually shop at a store. If they were lucky, they would have a chair to sit on. If they were lucky, they would have a cell phone with video games to play or to text messages with. If they were lucky, the women have some other place they need to go to so the wait is determined in absolute time. And if they were really lucky, the woman didn't ask him to hold her purse (and everyone knows that those who do hold the purse are the ones whose spirits have been truly broken.) Tempers are definitely at their worst here and I've heard men yelling into the women's dressing room in hopes of scaring the women out (and it never works and probably made her take longer.)
I'm sure the young and naive may now be asking why do men go with women to shop in the first place? Perhaps it's their way of spending quality time with each other (and where the men optimistically hope that THIS TIME will be different and that THIS TIME she will really only take the few minutes she said she required.) Or the woman insists that the man accompany her in case she needs his opinion- - after all, she's really buying these things to look good for him. And he'll go with her if only to try to control her spending and to avoid confrontation. But in the land of Loehmann's or Century 21, the unavoidable battle will be played out and truth be told most of the time the woman will win. On yes, she will instinctively fight to the death to be able to shop in this heaven of hers irregardless that the man who accompanies her will enter into his interminable hell.**
*I have no idea whether this is true or some cuck-a-mamy theory that was thought up during a drunken stupor. Either way, it works for this blog and that's all that really matters.
**This may be overly dramatic and in no way does it represent my shopping outings with hubby (ok, maybe once in a blue moon). But you get my point.
posted by Unknown at 12:25 PM
1 Comments:
Ahahaha. That was fabulous! All hail the English major! :)
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