The One That Got Away

For me: A Zac Posen jacket on eBay

For another: A cute pair of Prada boots

For yet another: A cool looking shirt from Banana Republic -- on sale

Almost every one who loves to shop has a story to tell about the one fashion article that they had sadly allowed to "get away." When one person decides to share their story of loss there are usually others who can chime in and commiserate. There are variations as to how they lost the battle, whether it was picking something up at a store then putting it back down only to have someone else snatch it away (though we all must admit that it's quite thrilling to be the one that does) or having someone talk you out of buying something and when you come to your senses and return to purchase it the item is no longer available. The true shopoholics would, of course, then go in search of finding the lost items usually by going to or calling other stores or looking online. Many of us with a shopping habit can talk about when we've gone above and beyond to find something that was out of our reach. One friend drove an hour and a half away in order to find something. I've called stores as far as Maine in order to find a specific dress. Others have gone back to stores almost daily in order to secure their finds. And those are joyous times when you finally find the item -- it becomes more precious than anything else in your closet to date and that makes you feel like the most resourceful, fashionable and even the luckiest person in the world (until, of course, the next shopping mishap.)

Yet even with those moments I still find myself thinking about that one item, the brown with cream piping Zac Posen jacket, I "left behind". It's not like I haven't bought any jackets since that I don't adore, yet time and time again that jacket pops back in my mind as if I'd only seen it yesterday. It's almost as if I yearn for the fashion possibilities that the jacket could have afforded me and I mourn for the lost opportunities I would have had to wear it. And I shake my head.

Perhaps some of you are remembering your own experiences as you read this and will have a similar story to share; know that I sympathize with you wholeheartedly. I write this entry as a token of my condolence and will take a shot of tequila to commemorate. I suggest you do the same.

Heaven and Hell

Women in general like to shop and most women would say that they "LOVE" to shop ( and sufficed to say, I am one of the latter.) Men in general don't like to shop and most men would say that they "HATE" to shop. These statements, though quite general, are symbolic of the age old battle that is still being fought between the sexes everywhere. Just pause for a moment and consider that right now a man and a woman somewhere on this planet are cursing each other's names because of their incompatible shopping habits. I've heard of marriages falling apart because of this very reason and I believe that would have been avoidable had the man gone shopping with the woman before they got hitched -- no man can say that he knows his woman until he has gone shopping with her. People, take heed.

One theory about women and shopping points to the survival skills honed during neolithic times when women collected vegetation and wood while the men went to hunt for meat (Meat is good.) Therefore, this desire to collect has been passed down through the ages and is now being reflected through the shopping habits of women everywhere*. Yes, ladies, we're acting out of instinct. This can help explain the rabid look in women's eyes when they shop at a sale -- perhaps a Barney's Warehouse sale or the like? The limited or scarce quantities and high demand could be said to portray the situation faced by our neolithic mothers fending for their brood. Women are like sharks circling prey at sales and it goes without saying that it's every woman for herself. Yes, ladies, we're acting out of instinct.

Thus, it's not a matter of being right or wrong but allowing what comes naturally. To express your inner self. And to my health but supposedly to my husband's detriment, I hone my natural instincts almost daily. I personally like to take my time (if time is available), browse the full selection, and when the price point is high enough I like to stand in the middle of store and try to find as many self-justifying reasons to purchase the item(s). I also love a good bargain, and as many of my friends and family members know the word "sale" is probably one of my favorite words in the English language...well, actually in any language. This leads me to develop a natural affinity for outlet and discount shopping at retailers like Loehmann's or Century 21 in NYC (who does not love that store?!) and the insurgence of stores like Forever 21 and H&M is a sign that I'm not alone. But it is at these very stores that I have fought my biggest battles or have foreseen the potential of battles with my husband and seeing the couples shopping with us those unstable times only affirms my thoughts on the perpetual cycle of love and hate between the sexes as stated above.

A place like Loehmann's is fraught with land mines so to speak. Where at a regular retail store the clothes are organized in such a way that would allow anyone to know exactly what she's looking at, Loehmann's requires the woman to literally dig (or flip) through numerous racks of clothing. And it's not just the organization of the items but the amount of items offered at the store. You could spend a couple of hours shopping there and still not make it to the dressing rooms once. And I'm sure every single one of you have witnessed or were a part of this scene before where the women's changing room of a store is filled with light hearted banter as women try on clothes and gab about their finds while outside the room, in the one or two chairs provided by the store, are the men sitting dejectly waiting for them. If the men were lucky, the store would have a men's section to keep them busy for the 5 or 10 minutes they usually shop at a store. If they were lucky, they would have a chair to sit on. If they were lucky, they would have a cell phone with video games to play or to text messages with. If they were lucky, the women have some other place they need to go to so the wait is determined in absolute time. And if they were really lucky, the woman didn't ask him to hold her purse (and everyone knows that those who do hold the purse are the ones whose spirits have been truly broken.) Tempers are definitely at their worst here and I've heard men yelling into the women's dressing room in hopes of scaring the women out (and it never works and probably made her take longer.)

I'm sure the young and naive may now be asking why do men go with women to shop in the first place? Perhaps it's their way of spending quality time with each other (and where the men optimistically hope that THIS TIME will be different and that THIS TIME she will really only take the few minutes she said she required.) Or the woman insists that the man accompany her in case she needs his opinion- - after all, she's really buying these things to look good for him. And he'll go with her if only to try to control her spending and to avoid confrontation. But in the land of Loehmann's or Century 21, the unavoidable battle will be played out and truth be told most of the time the woman will win. On yes, she will instinctively fight to the death to be able to shop in this heaven of hers irregardless that the man who accompanies her will enter into his interminable hell.**


*I have no idea whether this is true or some cuck-a-mamy theory that was thought up during a drunken stupor. Either way, it works for this blog and that's all that really matters.
**This may be overly dramatic and in no way does it represent my shopping outings with hubby (ok, maybe once in a blue moon). But you get my point.

The Girl with the Pearl Earrings?

I've had my ears pierced three times so far but I don't have three holes in each ear. I don't remember why my holes closed the first time but I do remember getting my ears pierced the second time by some lady in Taiwan who, while she was HAND PIERCING my ears, kept repeating that I shouldn't worry because she use to be a nurse. Because the piercing was by hand, the experience was horrifying to say the least because it took quite some time for the posts to pierce each of my ear lobes. So rather than a quick pinch from a piercing gun where the pain would subside quickly, the painful sensation lasted close to a few minutes (and honestly felt like hours) as the posts made its god awful way through my lobes. To make this episode even more ridiculous was the fact that I was sitting on a stool on the sidewalk in front of the ladie's store so a crowd had actually gathered to watch this feat. Don't ask me why I did it. I think it was a command handed down by my father and every one who knows my father knows that we do not question his commands. What makes this experience actually quite sad for me was the fact that I lost the freaking studs in the shower two days later thus making the entire drama quite pointless. I think it must have been because my lobes were too swollen from the ordeal to accomodate any normal earring posts. Hell-to-the-no I didn't go back to get it redone but surprisingly, I think one of the hand-pierced holes is still half pierced (though should I feel scarred by the lady in some way because of this?)

So we move forward 10 years to the present. I recently got married and had my ears pierced the third, and hopefully, last time for the wedding. It was a classic ear piercing experience at the mall and I was thankful I had a "professional," if you can call her that, rather than a gum-chewing-hair-flipping teenage girl doing the piercing. Luckily, I had two girl friends with me who was able to correct the placement of the studs on my ear lobes (they were initially too low). I have enjoyed my newly pierced ears but realize now that "enjoy" shouldn't be the word to describe how I feel about them. Words and phrases like "joyous," "estatic," "gold mine," and "buried treasure" come to mind and are quite more appropriate because I've now realized that I have hit another mother load of fashion accessory opportunities --- and I don't know why this didn't occur to me before!

Since the wedding, I've only worn earrings once (as opposed to my studs) and I truly believe it's because I don't have even an inkling of an earring collection yet and not because I'm too lazy to take the studs out, clean them, clean my earlobes, clean the earrings and put the earrings on and repeat the steps when I come home from the day. No, not at all.

And to start a collection is not as easy as just picking up any pair of earrings I fancy. In fact, I think buying earrings is tricky. Only certain types of earrings will become me as do certain types of hair cuts and or hats. I am neither sad or frustrated by this because this condition certainly adds to the fun of finding something that works if not also to add to the complexity of the search. However, every time I consider a pair of earrings, a picture of myself when I was 13 with braces and big Sally Jesse Rafael glasses (yes, they were also red) pops into my head. Why? Because along with the glasses and braces, I was wearing a pair of ridiculously large silver hoops. They weren't becoming, to say the least, but what makes the earrings so important in the picture was the fact that I was hiking in Yosemite with my family. I was standing on a small rock with a mountain in the backdrop wearing these huge earrings. And memory has a way of changing the details on you so in my head the hoops have gotten disproportionally large against my head that was then full of baby fine stick straight hair. Indeed, this picture has become a personal symbol of awkward fashion evolution.

So what am I considering as some of my first earring purchases basically as a grown ass woman? Trust me, I will be experimenting. Certainly not large silver hoops. Perhaps something small and tasteful but not too small that they will get lost in my now freakish combo of kinky, wavy, straight hair. And most certainly not diamonds or pearls because then what would my husband buy me for our seven and a half month or one year anniversaries?

Just kidding.

You Know You've Gone to the Dark Side When...

Well, not really the dark side as in something evil because I am talking about fashion here and nothing is ever truly evil in fashion (except those times when you're trying on jeans and swimsuits). What I am talking about is moving upwards on the price point threshold where the "dark side" becomes a place where your reality is so warped by the higher price tags you've been paying anything below or even slightly higher than your new price point threshold seems like a bargain (when in reality is not.) I've had this discussion with some of you before. It's when you've been buying $30 - $60 jeans for years and suddenly decide to buy the $150 dollar jeans. Because you're willing to pay this new price point, the $220 pair of jeans no longer seem expensive and has become part of your shopping universe for future purchases. It was quite an epiphany when I realized this personal evolution when I found myself considering items I would have never considered had I not decided to splurge on my last item (much to my husband's happiness.) It's a death spiral really considering where the level of my monetary income is at but it's an experience that I believe most girls go through as we grow older. I've had this experience with jeans and other clothing, shoes, and most certainly handbags. In fact, I believe it is even more pronounced with my handbag purchases.

My most expensive purse to date is a large black Tod's purse that had cost around $450. The leather was beautiful and the hardware was quite simple which made me love it more. I honestly felt like I heard "angel" music when I saw it in the store. Since this purchase, there have been many more purse purchases but none had exceeded this price point (though all were just as exciting.) That is, until I saw the Fendi Spy bag in a magazine while I was getting my hair done (beautiful pix of this hair experience kindly provided by yihaw.blogspot.com.) The one shown was a dark emerald green and that was exactly the one I wanted. Why not brown or black because those colors would go with more things? My reasoning is that it is a very unique bag with unique features and only a special color like emerald green would highlight those features best. And for those special features, this bag retails for around $2100 -- YES, $2100. I thought about this bag for months and saw the Fendi ad for it in every magazine I read. I even started planning for how I would finance this purchase (because I didn't want hubby to have a heart attack). Then the day came when I went to the Fendi store to check out the bag in person...to see and touch the leather and try it on for size. And to my dismay, the bag was too BIG for me. It looked good hung over my shoulder but looked ridiculous hanging off my arm due to its size. The salesman was telling me that that was the trend now -- to hang these big ass bags off your arms and I actually considered it (escalation of commitment I suppose) until the deal breaker: all stores have completely sold out of the emerald green bags and that color is no longer being produced. He suggested that Niemans or Saks may have one left but I'll have to search for it. They did have brown, black, and some new wine color but not THE emerald green. So I walked away, not without some pouting of course, but I walked away and have never looked back. Now, however, bags retailing for $1000 don't seem expensive to me and actually seem like a deal which I guess goes to show that I've definitely gone to the dark side...


Or not! I found this bag on eBay that had the shape of the Spy bag and the essence of the green...Looks good hanging off the arm and it's only $29.99 from a girl selling from Cerritos of all places! Maybe I can return from the dark side.

Is It Like Flashing the World From the Dumpster?

It's unbelieveable how fast this blog has served its purpose. Thanks to Yihaw, the sweater style I mentioned I wanted in my last blog has been found. Yihaw, you are a star! Thanks for keeping me in mind as you web shop. The abercombie sweater is a little pricey though at $98 so I think I'll wait for it go on sale, if ever. But at least I know now where to buy and that's all that really matters.

June, another superstar, made a great website suggestion via email: www.letrainbleu.com. I love how this website shows you all the items in a category at one time. Makes shopping so much easier and quicker. June had purchased the prettiest embroidered bag from this site a while ago at a great price. If any of you are looking for cute summer dresses, there are some on sale right now -- remember the Ella Moss dress sensation made by SJP a few seasons ago?

Here's another fashion conundrum that I hope you all can help me out with. Maybe not fashion related but more staples maintenance. I've been amassing a large quantity of underwear and bras where I think the oldest set was from early high school. Most are obviously beyond all hope of ever serving it's original purpose ever again and every piece has moved with me from SoCal to the Bay Area back to SoCal and to my apartment. I don't know why I even bothered and they're taking up precious storage space. I know I'm not alone in this experience. But I have no idea what do with them. What do you gals do with yours? They are certainly not donateable (I would actually be really embarrassed to if it was possible) And I've heard "just throw them away" -- but wouldn't that be like sharing your most personal intimate business with the unknown public? I'm getting imagery like some dumpster diver finding my granny panties (yes, I'm confirming I have some -- and admit it, we all have some) and holding them up while laughing his head off with his other dumpster diver friends. True, it's nothing personal as the underwear or bra has already left my trash bin and there are no identifier marks to say that it belongs to me but the fact that I had worn them before makes me grimace at the idea. Maybe I should hold a bra/undies burning extravaganza?

Are Antiques Beautiful or Freaky?

I love it when magazines provide suggestions of websites to visit. Today, I surfed a few provided by Lucky Magazine to see if they are worth remembering.

First stop: Costco.com. I love shopping at the actual stores but since it's just hubby and me there's really no need to shop there at all (I mean, do we really need 20 rolls of paper towels and 5 pounds of cereal?) Needless to say, we only go there once a year. But the website did have some interesting fashion finds like Ferragamo and Prada bags and wallets. Selection is puny but to know that it's there is worth remembering. I also like the Longchamp tote shown on the website but of course it wasn't available. Now we all know they have diamonds and other fine jewelry at Costco but did you guys know that they sell urns and caskets too? Creepy.

And I've always loved antiques but I don't think I can buy any yet given a phobia that can't be named and root cause of that can't be found. Yes, some pieces are exquisite and can't be matched by any modern craftsmanship but doesn't the idea that these things have gone through god knows what kind of history give it some sort of "life"? What if some of these pieces are cursed because of their past? Bad, horrible feng shui if I bring it into our home. *shiver* I know it's just my ultra superstitious side talking (developed from watching "The Shining" at the tender age of 8). Indulge me and play along. Paris hotel boutique has some great antique pieces but its "ghost mirror" is one of the creepiest items I've seen. Other interesting items: Vintage end tables & 1900s writing desk --I think this desk is gorgeous! The deep color of the wood is so luxe looking. Simple and classic, don't you think? Too bad it's so expensive.

Enokiworld.com. Another fun vintage website mostly for clothing and accessories.
*Interesting...but hard to wear
*What a beautiful bag!
*Nice looking but highly impractical
*So modern looking
*Someone please buy this bag!(I personally can't after yesterday's purchase, but someone should. asap.)
*NO!This bag is even better than the last one I mentioned
*I want someone to buy these only so I can see them on!
*This is exactly the type of sweater I've been looking for. Chunky, yet drapey and not very grandma-like. Please let me know if you know where there is one like it.
*What a cute dress! This would look gorgeous on Yihaw

I'm sure everyone can see that the first things I look at are shoes and bags. I'm definitely a shoe and bag fiend, but I also think they're the safest thing to shop for on the web. Of these websites, I will definitely visit Enokiworld more often. Let me know if you have other websites you think are worth visiting.

How an Addict Becomes an Addict

It has been two and a half weeks since I've started my internship and all I've accomplished so far is racking up a huge bill via eBay. That site is seriously addicting. I've dabbled on other shopping sites and have actually purchased a few items there (that I'll be returning shortly -- didn't like the color or material) but only because eBay was not the first site to come to mind when I went in search of something to, uh, keep me busy. How could it not have been the first is what I wonder now. Nothing comes close to what's being offered on eBay and the thrill of the chase (via auctions) is so much more fun. I'm not a fanatic, mind you. Just a girl who loves designer fashions but not yet compensated well enough to afford full retail (isn't that the angst of most gals everywhere?)

So I've decided to chronicle my summer fashion adventures and my thoughts behind why I want to purchase certain things or why I find some things interesting. I also hope that in the process, you, my friends, will be able to find some great items as well to add to your fashionable chic wardrobes. (Please feel free to tell me your shoe and dress size as well as items you've been searching for...maybe I can help find it for you!) My only caveat is that I won't give links or prices to items I've already purchased (unless it's insanely cheap) because well, I just don't want to hear crap about over paying from any of you since items are usually not returnable on eBay (and why would I invite criticism to make me feel bad about my beloved purchases? It's all about self justification, y'all.)

Purchases made so far:
A pair of Burberry pumps from buffaloexchange.com -- actually, its online store is located within eBay. Loved the stitching, the color is beautiful, and the heel height looks reasonable. I can wear it with many things (a true test for "practical" shoes, eh?) I should receive it in a few days. You guys should check this site out. I saw Marc Jacob shoes for $70.00 and you know that's cheap.

A Joseph A. Gold Thread Top from eBay. Cheap. Cheap. Cheap. Like $17 cheap including S/H.

I have one more purchase I'm really excited about but won't divulge it today. It was really expensive and my hands got seriously clammy when I purchased it. Must be what addicts feel like...I think I'll actually sell some stuff on ebay to finance this purchase. Don't get me wrong, I can afford this (I say this knowing some of you got worried for a sec -- don't worry, the price was only 3 digits long --haha) I only feel like it's too indulgent for me to buy given my current status as a grad student.

I also found this pair of vintage YSL sandals: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3984375800&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&rd=1
Very cute. And could possibly be dirt cheap -- though I think the price will increase significantly since there's still 3 days left the in the auction. It could also be too big for me (7 OR 7.5? Risky) Most I'm willing to pay...hmmm maybe $25?